Over the past few weeks I’ve been giving a lot of thought about what my life, and my business, has been like these past two years since my husband passed away. During the reflection process, it seems that I’ve been taking a back seat to life. I keep looking in life’s rear-view mirror and expecting things to change. My motivation has gone by the wayside, my passion has waned, and I don’t hear people telling me, “Eydie, you’ve inspired me” as much as I used to.
Part of my life had been suddenly ripped away… and along with Dale’s passing much of what made me happy before was gone as well. Oh, I’ve known that all along. Reflecting just brought it out into the forefront. But after reflecting I realized that although I lost so much – I’ve gained a lot as well.
We’re all grateful for our families, friends and for the things we have – that’s a given. But I’ve never really thought about being grateful for myself. Amazing what reflecting brings up. I realized that although I thought I had lost some of my motivation and passion, in reality, I hadn’t. My motivation and passion never let me… it just showed up in other ways. It showed up as strength, realistic view of life, determination, and an appreciation for the skills and characteristic I own.
“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water”, Eleanor Roosevelt. As a widow, I had lost an income. I was a financial widow who now needed to step up her game in order to survive. I needed more than motivation. Determination rang in the forefront. Determination is what drove me to keep my financial head just above the water line. Oh, and fear as well. Fear played a huge part in my life – but it wasn’t a harmful fear. It was actually a fear that was the driving force to help me succeed in life, as well as in my business. I was afraid that getting behind in my mortgage payments would have me living on the streets. Being homeless IS not an option. I was afraid that not being able to pay my utility bills would have me sitting in the dark without electricity, internet connection, gas or water. How would I be able to work without electricity or my precious Internet? My business is based on the Internet – I couldn’t allow myself to lose everything for which I worked so hard. Losing my business was also not an option. I was in hot water, and it was time I found out how strong and resilient I was.
Yes, determination and fear kept me going. But there were some fears that were holding me back. Fear and limiting beliefs about myself and my capabilities had become detrimental to my well-being and to my business. It was those fears that held my motivation at bay… not the passing of my husband. I was allowing myself to think less of who I really am. There was so much negative self-talk that I started believing in what I was telling myself. All my life I relied on the old dumb blonde jokes to get me out of sticky situations. I would do something dorky and say, “Duh… what do you want, I’m blonde”. I used the dumb blonde cliches to keep my fears about myself at bay. How angry I am for allowing myself to do such a detrimental thing. But now, it’s time for me to get over those fears and anger.
In order to move forward in my personal life and my business life, I need to rid myself of those nasty fears and limiting self-beliefs. But how? That’s a huge job and could take years of therapy. I don’t have years to work on the fears. These fears have been with me since I was a small child. I’m 61 years old – and I’ve had plenty of time to get over those stinking fears. I don’t, however, want to leave this world with these constricting fears grasping onto my every breath. What do I do? How do I get rid of them once and for all?
Just Do It…
Well, as Nike puts it – I’m going to “Just Do It”. I’ve made my list of fears – and I’ve made a list of how I will overcome them. I’m making multiple copies so I can have one in each purse, and one for each room in my house. The list contains things that I MUST do in 2013 – for myself and for no one else. The list covers personal items as well as business items. I’ve listed goals I must reach by certain time frames, and I’ve enlisted the assistance of an accountability partner. I also have two jars. A productivity jar and a gratitude jar. Each day I will write down something I’ve done to reach my goals, and the gratitude jar will fill up with all the things I’m grateful for.
No more excuses! 2013 is MY year to finally get over all my fears, baggage, insecurities…and grief. I’m even more determined than ever before to raise my financial head even higher above the water line. I am worthy of all the things I desire, and so are you.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right” Our belief systems affects our behavior. Often, the outcome of something you do is influenced by your attitude going in. If I believe I can’t overcome the things I need to overcome – well heck… I may as well just pack up and quit. Quitting, however, is not an option. I’m not going to live looking in the rear-view mirror anymore.
What have I gained?
I mentioned early on that I gained a lot over the past two years. What are they?
- I’ve gained a strength I never knew I had.
- I’ve realized that stressing over the small stuff isn’t going to be productive.
- I’ve realized that stressing over anything isn’t going to be productive.
- I learned to life each day as if it’s my last.
- I’ve gained a deeper appreciation for the people around me who want nothing more than to help me.
- I’ve gained insight to what I REALLY want in life.
- I’ve learned that there are some fears that drive you forward, and some fears that keep you in park.
- I’ve allowed love back into my life.
- I’ve learned that my destiny is in my own hands.
What is your attitude going to be like in 2013? Are there some limiting beliefs you have that might be holding you back from true success? Share your views in the comment box below.